Life Actually
Since leaving social media, a topic that has been on the forefront of my mind, is how we show up to one another. People, by nature, always want to put on their best face. We want people to see us at our best, think of us as our best version. I do this too, quite often. I can, on a good day, appear to be totally fine, totally capable, and confident in my ability to do whatever I set out to do. On days like this, I tend to be very willing to share what I am doing, thinking etc.
This habit is very useful, it helps get people on board with what we are doing. It helps when trying to sell your vision to others. It is a practice of sharing your best, so that others place greater value on you, and what you have to offer. There is nothing wrong with this, we all do it after all.
Where this can go wrong, is when we begin to compare the truth of our lives, to the sales pitch of others. Never forget that the greatest hits reel of someone’s life, is always going to look better than reality. The comparison of one’s actual life to any such presentation is ultimately meaningless. To do my part to shatter this illusion, I am, today, going to talk a bit about my life. How it really looks, good days and bad days included.
Winter has always been a time of slow down for me. My energy levels are low, I find myself doing less, and spending more time reading, journaling, watching TV/Internet, introspecting, or sleeping. I try to honor this natural tendency during this time, knowing that spring will bring new life and energy in its time. Winter tends to be a time of resolution, reflection, and rest. The time of new beginnings will come soon enough.
The trips I have taken in the past months have been the highlights of my life in this trying time. The road tripping, the nice places to stay, the amazing views, the beautiful hikes, the mountains, lakes, waterfalls, etc. I have gladly shared all of the details of these trips, in the hopes that others will be inspired to get out of their routine and go enjoy all that nature has to offer. I feel totally free on these trips, and find it easy to keep my spirits up while enjoying them. I look forward to the next time I go on another one. They also account for only a tiny fraction of my days. There are two sides to every coin.
I have not been on a big trip in almost 2 months now. I had come to rely upon these trips as a balm to pick me up while going through these trying times. I had also come to rely on those trips as a way to avoid what I didn’t want to think about. Things like what my life is going to look like going forward. Things like how to clean up the mess that was leftover when my whole life situation fell apart. Dozens of little things that need to be done. The state of my social life. The pressing real life needs that cannot be ignored for long. The mistakes that got me here, and how to convert them to lessons and growth. The patterns I keep repeating in my life… When you run out of distractions, everything you have been running from must be faced.
These days, I try to remind myself that most people are dealing with challenging situations in their lives. We all have things on our plates, whether we admit it or not. How we deal with those challenges is really the key. I find it helpful to remember that some people are pulling their hair out and losing sleep over the fact that they made a few fewer million dollars last year than they wanted to. And at the same time, some homeless person with no worldly possessions is sleeping peacefully knowing that they haven’t a care in the world.
So, dear reader, always remember, that not all is as it seems. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Never assume that someone else’s problems would be preferable to your own. Peace can be found in any life situation. Happiness can be found along any path through life. You are never stuck in a situation that isn’t for you anymore. Decide what Your happiness looks like, follow Your compass. Find your own peace. Do not allow someone else to convince you that they know better than the truth you find within. They haven’t walked a mile in your shoes.
